…I kid you not. This review from a popular restaurant review website is supposed to be favorable.

There are too many Japanese restaurants in NYC. Trying to discern a great place from a mediocre place to spend your scrill can be as difficult and frustrating as finding an apartment or choosing a dentist. To complicate matters, for every Japanese restaurant you read about on the Internet, or in the $13.95 Zagat’s restaurant guide, there are multitudes of conflicting reviews and opinions. Common praise includes “…the freshest fish ever…” and “Best fish in the city!”. Yet often, for the same restaurant, equally strong negatives appear “…the fish wasn’t that fresh.” and “…was not worth the cost!” What’s a diner to do?

In my experience, it’s best to bypass the common review outlets and go with expatriate sentiment. For me, cuisine is not simply sustenance in and of itself, but has a lore, and a context in which the food is consumed. Expats know best when it comes to the customs and mores associated with the cuisine of their upbringing. It’s hard to get this perspective from anyone else.

Fortunately, in NYC, it’s not hard to find expats. However, it can be hard to find where they eat. Truth be told, I generally listen to my wife and the expat who cuts my hair. Ignore the Zagats. Ignore the New York Times. Ignore the Citysearch reviews. Find where the expats eat, and you’ve most likely found some of the best Japanese digs in NYC.
I thought it would be useful for my own reference, and for you to get your learn on, to summarize some of the real deals, and some of the hype. I’m planning to go into more detail, but here is a start (in no particular order):

Doing the right thing

• Chiyono - East Village - New home-cookin’ spot on 6th street (aka Curry street).
• Omen - West Village - Fancy udon.
• Honmura An - Soho - Fancy soba and home of the ginormous shrimp tempura.
• Katsuhama - Midtown - All katsu, all the time.
• Sakagura - Midtown - Sneaky upscale sake bar.
• Decibel - East Village - Sneaky grunge sake bar.
• Chikalicious - East Village - Swank dessert bar, ok it’s not formally japanese food, but it makes the list anyway.
• Donburi-ya - Midtown - Hideki Matsui gets his bachelor eats here.
• Sushi of Gari - Upper East - Yes. Upper East Side. Being so out of place is part of it’s charm. That and the killer foie gras sushi.
• Yoshinoya - Midtown - Cannot beat the original, but tastes different than Tokyo because the meat is more stale due to slower turnover.
• Basta Pasta - Union Square - Italian/Japanese at it’s best. You better know what you’re doing if you try this mix. Luckily, they do.
• Zaiya - East Village/Midtown - Clean. Pure. Japanese bakery.
• Shabu-tatsu - East Village - OG shabu shabu spot. Great place to steam up your spectacles on a 16 degree wintery-mix night.

Don’t believe the hype

• Jewel Bako - East Village - Think what Frank Sinatra’s sushi restaurant would’ve been like if he had one. This is not a good thing in my book.
• Bond St - East Village - Too cool for itself.
• Blue Ribbon Sushi - West Village - So explain to me how your plain-jane sushi from Tsukiji menu is any better than Bond St.?
• Megu - West Village - Oi! Look over here! I have a shiny ball in my hand!Please don’t pay attention to the below-average food.
• Riingo - Midtown - I really wanted to like this place, but Marcus Samuelsson, you get minus points.
• Tomoe - Nolita - Big sushi = bad sushi. Do we make chewing gum you have to bite in two? No… and we shouldn’t make sushi that way either.
• Yama - Nolita - Bigger than Tomoe.
• Any “all you can eat” place - This is a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how packed these spots get.
• Momofuku - East Village - I give points for effort, but their ramen is just terrible. Unfortunately, this is a ramen place. I’ll save my diatribe on the “ramen deficit” in NYC for another day.

The master plan: I’ll dig a little deeper into each, and if I’m lucky, add a few more to the top list, and less to the bottom.